It's OK Pooch

Finding a sitter for a dog who can't be left alone

Help · 6 min read · Not yet reviewed by a certified behaviour consultant

"I feel so trapped." If you live with a dog who panics alone, you've probably said something like that, at least to yourself. Turning down invitations, leaving dinners early, not having had a holiday in years. Family who think you're being dramatic. It's exhausting, and it's not a sign you're doing anything wrong.

Finding cover is not cheating on your training. It's part of it.

Why cover matters while you train

The ASPCA advises that, during training, a dog with separation anxiety shouldn't be left alone beyond what they can handle, and suggests sitters, daycare or family to cover the gaps [1]. Dogs Trust gives the same advice: try not to leave your dog longer than they can cope with [2]. Malena DeMartini, who founded the Certified Separation Anxiety Trainer programme, describes managing absences during training as part of the plan [3].

The reason is simple. Repeated time alone while anxious can make things worse [4]. Every long, upsetting absence can work against the short, calm ones you've been building.

The good news is that, for many dogs who struggle alone, the company of a calm person helps, and it doesn't always have to be you [1].

Planning absences

Start with the week ahead. List every time you'll need to be out without your dog: work, appointments, the school run, the supermarket. Then go through them one by one.

For each absence, ask:

A peer-reviewed review suggests arranging a trusted person for longer absences [5]. If an absence can't be covered, keep it as short as you can. And even once your dog is relaxed alone, the RSPCA, Dogs Trust and the PDSA all suggest no more than about four hours [6][7][8].

What a sitter needs to know

A sitter who has never met your dog is walking in blind. A single page can change that. Here's what's worth including:

Your dog's early warning signs. Barking is usually a late sign. The quieter ones, like lip licking, yawning, looking away, ears back or a tucked tail, come first [9]. Panting, pacing and yawning when not tired are common stress signs when alone [7]. Tell your sitter which ones your dog shows.

How to come and go. Keep departures and returns low key, without a big goodbye or a big hello [7].

What not to do. Never scold a worried dog, and never leave them to cry it out [10]. Never tell a dog off for growling, because it's an early warning [9].

Food and chews. If your dog won't eat when they're worried, say so. Very anxious dogs often won't eat when alone [1], so a sitter shouldn't take an untouched chew as a sign of fussiness.

Walks. If your dog is also reactive, your sitter needs to know your dog's triggers, a comfortable distance, quiet routes and times [11], and your turn-away cue. They should never set up greetings with other dogs or people [12].

Crates. If your dog isn't comfortable in a crate, say so clearly. DeMartini notes that crates can increase distress for some dogs and can lead to injury [4].

Who to call. Your number, your vet's number, and what to do if your dog gets very upset.

It's OK Pooch builds this for you as a Sitter Card: one page with how long your dog currently copes alone, the distances that work on walks, their first warning sign, your own notes and your vet's contact, ready to share with whoever looks after them. The Life Planner helps you map out the week's absences and plan cover ahead of time.

Things to weigh with daycare

Daycare can be a lifeline for some dogs. For others, a busy room full of unfamiliar dogs and people is a lot to cope with. Battersea explains that several stressful moments close together can add up until a dog can no longer cope [13]. A dog who is also reactive may find a busy day draining.

If you're considering daycare, it's worth asking:

Watch your dog in the day or two after. If they seem more on edge, that's useful information too. A dog who's had a hard day may need some quiet time afterwards [14].

Building towards real absences

Cover buys you time while the training does its slow work. As your dog copes with longer absences, the RSPCA suggests varying how long you're away rather than only ever making it longer [6]. Bit by bit, some of the gaps you've been covering may become ones your dog can manage. There's no fixed timeline for that, and it's fine if it takes months.

If you'd like a plan that shows how long your dog currently copes and helps you work out what needs cover, you can get your dog's first week, free, no card.

When to get more help

If your dog hurts themselves when alone, tries hard to escape, or you can't find any way to cover absences, please talk to your vet or a qualified professional. Our guide on when to see a vet behaviourist explains the signs and where to find help.

This guide is general information, not veterinary advice. If your dog is hurting themselves or others, talk to your vet.

Sources

  1. Treating Separation Anxiety in Dogs, ASPCA, 2020
  2. Separation anxiety in dogs: signs, causes and how to help, Dogs Trust
  3. Less Is More, Malena DeMartini, CSAT programme, 2023
  4. Dog separation anxiety FAQ, Malena DeMartini, CSAT programme
  5. Canine separation anxiety: strategies for treatment and management, Rebecca J. Sargisson, Veterinary Medicine: Research and Reports, 2014
  6. Training your dog to be left alone, RSPCA
  7. How to help your dog get used to spending time alone, Dogs Trust
  8. Separation anxiety in dogs, PDSA (written by its vets and vet nurses)
  9. Canine communication: recognising stress in your dog (ladder of communication), PDSA
  10. Treating separation anxiety in dogs, RSPCA
  11. Reactive dogs: why it happens and how to help, Dogs Trust
  12. How to Help Dogs That Are Aggressive During Leash Walking, Debra F. Horwitz, DVM, DACVB, Today's Veterinary Practice, 2015
  13. Trigger stacking in dogs, Battersea Dogs & Cats Home
  14. How to avoid trigger stacking in dogs, American Kennel Club

Ready to try it with your own dog? Get your dog's first week, free, with no card.